Hey IITS Readers,
Thanks for all the submissions to our Snowball War print contest, Genevieve and I really enjoyed reading all of them. The first five questions were clearly "gimme's" and every answer could be easily gleaned from either the comic book or the blog site. In the end, it really came down to a choice between the people who made a real effort to come up with creative ideas for the bonus question. One of our contestants suggested that we post all the answers that everyone submitted and while we thought that would be a good idea, it would make for a ridonkulously long post so we decided to just share with the rest of the readers our three finalists. They are:
Here are their entries:
Stuck in their cell, Gordo comes up with a plan. He calls for the
guard, frantically screaming that Kayli is trying to copulate with
him, and he's unwilling- he needs help to get her off of him!
Immediately awake, the guard eagerly runs over and throws open the
door- and is promptly stabbed with the gnawed, splintered bone. Gordo dons the guard's keys and uniform. A confused Kayli asks what he's doing, but is interrupted as Gordo pours oily gruel all over her. Her eyes stinging, she suddenly feels a draft- Gordo has stripped her of her bodysuit!
Before she knows it, she's been pushed down the hallway. Unable to
stop herself on her oily feet, she bursts through the double doors,
right into the middle of the pirates cafeteria. The rough crowd is
suddenly silent. After a pause, Kayli, with an embarrassed grin, takes
off, streaking towards the exit. The pirates give chase, but find
themselves unable to get a hold of her- her well-oiled body slips from
their grasp each time.
With the cafeteria clear, Gordo briskly finds his way to the docking
bay, where the pirates stashed their stuff after being captured.
Meanwhile, Kayli blindly (and slippery-ly) makes her way through the
compound, eventually finding the exit. With pirates in tow, she runs
outside. However, she finds herself at the edge of the island, with
nothing but grass beneath her, an atmospheric fall in front of her,
and incensed pirates behind her. Facing the crowd of poorly groomed
ruffians, she places a foot over the edge. The pirates hesitate for a
moment, but then advance. Resigned to her fate, Kayli leans back and
tumbles off the edge.
The pirates let out a gasp, and rush to the edge- only to have their
faces buzzed by an swiftly climbing Manty! Gordo, holding Kayli in his
arms, unceremoniously dumps her onto the seat next to him- there's not much room on Manty and he has to keep the machine stable. The temporary pilot casually tosses Kayli her bodysuit. After re-dressing, she angrily takes Manty's reigns. As explosions from sabotaged vehicles in the pirates docking bay sound in the distance, Kayli steers them away into parts unknown. Gordo finishes eating the banana.
Kayli:"Quick take off all your clothes."
Gordo: "What why?!"
"To distract the guard. Then when he enters the cell for a little Gordo lovin I'll push this pole on his head."
An exasperated sigh leaves Gordo's lips as he pinches the bridge of his nose.
"Listen lets just look around first and see if any of these stones are loose."
"Phoo, you never go with my ideas."
A quick search reveals a loose block!
"Ok help me push it."
"But Gordy what about the G-U-A-R-D?"
"Kayli he's asleep, not an infant, you don't have to spell out guard. Besides this block looks to be right above his head, we'll free ourselves and knock him out at the same time."
"Two meats over one fire."
"Yeaaahhh, ok sure, look just watch the guard while I push this and tell me if he's waking up"
Gordo uses his manly physique to push the block out of the wall where it falls on the sleeping guard's face, gently guiding him into a deeper dreamworld.
Both our heroes, wait don't sound right. . . Adventurers. . . hmmm. The meat hunter and the hermit jump though the hole and promptly retrieve their equipment which was placed in the armory just next door. Good fortune smiles upon them.
"Hey don't call me a meat hunter, I'm more of a meat gourmet!"
"Gah, Kayli don't talk to the narrator like that!"
Angry shouts can be heard down the hall, the incapacitated guard has been noticed.
"See this is what happens when you talk to people."
"Well what now oh Mr. Plans."
"We steal their gliders."
They sneak to the hanger using a cardboard box. Once there hermit boy hot wires a glider with a paperclip while the meat gourmet uses a nearby pole to bar the door.
"Ok it's ready lets get out of here."
The glider rockets into the sky taking our dynamic duo to new heights.
"Batman AND Robin? Here?"
"I think he means us Kayli."
"Ohhh. . . victory banana!"
"No, don't eat that you don't know where it's been!"
Come again next time, same sky time, same sky channel.
The attached picture is what I believe the situation to look like. So let's begin shall we? Kayli gathered all of the items in the room thinking of a plan to come up with, when Gordo finally came out of his helpless slump! Thinking he could possibly use Kayli's looks, he woke the guard. Gordo called him over, telling him to open the door. Obviously the guard refused, but with a little persuasion and a little 'charm' from Kayli, he opened the door. Hoping to get Kayli all for himself, she grabbed the bone and smashed it on his head, knocking him out cold. Poor guard. Anyhow, seeing as they had no means of escape it was time to put some serious thinking faces on. However, it wasn't too long before Kayli was distracted by the smell of meat coming from the dining hall. Being, well...Kayli, she was determined to get that meat by any means necessary..which also meant she ran into the hall full of men eating that same meat.. The men stared blankly at Kayli until she realized she was caught. Without any warning they all jumped up and ran after her. Gordo, unaware of the situation, casually walked down the hall looking for any means of escape until he heard a crowd of yells and grunts. "What the hell?" He ran in, only to find Kayli on top of a group of knocked out pirates. Well except one, but he decided to run away, stashing away any meat he had with him. Grabbing all the meat she could, Kayli and Gordo escaped with their lives and a belly full of food. Poor Gordo. ):
And the winner is...
We decided to go with FifthFanZac because while Chris P. had funny and creative use of the gruel and Chris B.'s was charming because of the fun little picture he shared, FFZ had us laughing the most. We loved these three entries the most and to us...it was almost to close to call. We didn't want the other two guys to go away empty handed so after some discussion we decided that while FFZ wins the deluxe 19x13 Snowball War Print, we would award each of our two runner's ups with the almost as awesome 14x11 smaller sized Snowball War prints! Yay! If you are a winner and haven't already sent Kayli your mailing address, please do so now. FifthFanZac, your print can be mailed this week...Chris B. and Chris P., please forgive us, we'll need to contact someone to print up yours before we can mail them out. It was a last minute decision to hand out the additional prizes and we only have the 19x13 print on hand.
Once again, congratulations to all our winners and thanks to everyone who entered!